Restaurant Dos and Do Nots: What Working in a Restaurant Has Taught Me

Preface: I started writing this article in December, about one month before my work anniversary. The goal was to reflect on my journey through the restaurant that I’ve worked in and share some of the pet peeves of the restaurant world. Obviously, something very unexpected happened since I started writing and now I feel that this piece has a lot more to say.

While I would still like to get a few chuckles out of you in sharing some of the crazy things that happen in the restaurant industry, and maybe point out a few things that you may not have thought about, mostly I want to give readers a glimpse of the life of some of the workers that everyone is so eager to see again.

I will certainly be one of the many flooding my favorite cafes and restaurants when all of the restrictions for restaurants and non-essential businesses are lifted. I will also be one of the many employees excitedly thrown back into long, hectic days as everyone is anxious to get out again; not to mention the annual chaos that warm weather in Chicago brings. I’ll be happy to get back to a job that I enjoy, but I’m sure that I’ll be a step or two off. All I ask is that you be a little patient with those you encounter in the service industry. Welcome us back, and we will do the same for you.

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I believe everyone should be required to work in a restaurant at some point in their life. I know that has probably been said before, but let me say it again:

Everyone should have to work in a restaurant.

My three year anniversary of working with White Lodging was this past January and I’ve been at the same property downtown for the entirety of my time. Because I spent my first eight months or so in the hotel Starbucks, when it comes time for me to leave this job this summer, I will have worked in the restaurant as either a host, busser, server, or bartender for about three years. From what I can tell, this could be my first and last restaurant job ever (although you never really know), and with that possibility looming, I want to take time to reflect on my experiences and share some of the lessons and laughs that I’ve had.

Hostess: When I started as a host, it was my opportunity to get out of Starbucks and I was happy to take it. Not that working at Starbucks is bad at all, but the location I worked in was incredibly tiny, possibly the smallest ever, and I was getting a little burnt out. So, when my Starbucks manager and one of the restaurant managers suggested that I take a few hosting shifts a week to keep my hours, I immediately obliged.

Working at the host stand was a great gig. I dressed up every day as opposed to my black Starbucks shirt, jeans, and that itchy visor. I met a whole department of new people and the job was much more involved. Hosting, after all, is a lot like tetris, at least on busy nights.

That being said, I come to my first lesson from hosting.

• If the restaurant is full, beggars can’t be choosers.

I remember busy nights when I felt like every guest was refusing the table I was showing them and asking to sit somewhere else. On a slow night with understanding servers, this is simply a nuisance. But, on busy nights with stressed servers, or servers that religiously check the seating chart to make sure that you aren’t screwing them out of their next $15, this is a host’s nightmare.

Hosting really is a lot like Tetris, but it is more complicated than that. It is the host’s job to ensure to the best of their ability that the “rotation” is fair. Ideally, at the end of the night, each server will have served the same amount of customers. This would be easy if everyone came into the restaurant in groups of two or four every ten or twenty minutes but of course, it’s not that easy. The point is that hosting is more difficult than you may think and spoiling the host’s one job by refusing the table that they show you or seating yourself only makes their life harder.

• Understand why you’re waiting.

If the host tells you that there is going to be a wait, you should not assume it’s only because there is not a table available. If the job was that easy, there would be no need for a host.

If a host is telling you that there will be a wait, it may be because the kitchen or all of the servers are overwhelmed. If that is true, you would most likely become more frustrated sitting at the table and having to wait for your server, your food, and your drinks. Your wait is probably not because there is no table available, but if you really want to peer around the dining room just to make sure, be our guest.

Busser: Of all of my roles in the restaurant, I must say that bussing tables was the most difficult. Serving water, clearing plates during and after the meal, and wiping down tables on a busy night is a lot to handle. Some nights, it’s worth it, but sometimes people don’t realize that servers “tip out” the bussers.

• Think about everyone who is serving you.

I know tipping is a worn-out topic, but keep in mind that when you leave a tip, you aren’t just leaving money for your server. You’re leaving money for anyone who served your table. If another employee came to the table to bring you water, food, or take your dishes, there is a good chance that your server has to give a percentage of their money to them whether they have a good night with tips or not. That doesn’t mean that you have to tip more than your customary 15 or 20%, it just means that leaving a healthy percentage is all the more important.

• You’re not at home.

We know that there are exceptions. For example, elderly guests who may have shaky hands or guests with disabilities may leave a mess by accident. But if you simply haven’t taught your children how to eat spaghetti without flinging it all over the floor yet, it may be time to consider waiting to take the whole family out for dinner.

That is, if the children are indeed the problem. Don’t think we don’t notice when you accidentally spill something or break something and think that leaving it without saying anything won’t bother anyone. You’re wrong. In fact, showing us will probably give us a good laugh and spark a comment like, “Don’t worry, that happens all the time,” or “I’ve seen much worse.”

Server: Serving is one of the most fun positions that I’ve worked in, but it has definitely tested me the most. Nights when you have a full section inside and outside, a backed up kitchen, and someone asking you for something every step you take, it can become overwhelming. Even with all of those circumstances considered, I will still list the following as one of my number one pet peeves.

• We don't control the thermostat, and even if we did, we can’t change it for you.

Temperatures in restaurants can vary greatly. Crowds can bring heat, doors opened too long can bring cold gusts, and humidity can bring plain discomfort. While it does seem that any employee should be able to walk up to the closest thermostat and change it to their heart’s content, we suffer right alongside you.

Trust me, we know it’s hot. We are running in, out, and past the hot kitchen carrying hot plates and grabbing hot silverware and glasses to polish before they dry and leave water marks. We know it’s hot. Please, spare us the repressed laughter when you ask us to turn the AC up. We can’t. Even if we could, and even if we did, another person would complain that it’s too cold in twenty minutes and before you know it, we would need to schedule a person just to adjust the thermostat to every customer’s preference.

What I’m saying is, we would love to help, but we can’t.

• If you know what you need, try to ask at one time.

I know it’s our job to serve you and bring what you need to the table, but if you know you need a side of ranch, hot sauce, mayonnaise, and a refill on your water, try to limit your server’s trips to and from the kitchen.

• If you’re a picky eater, the menu is your friend.

This may be one of my biggest pet peeves as a server. Imagine bringing out the item that the customer ordered, say, a salad. It looks lovely; perfectly assembled.

“Does everything look like it came out alright for you?”

“What is this,” the customer asks as they point to the long piece of baked kale or the candied jalapenos.

“Those are the ________.”

Usually there will be a long pause.

“Is that okay for you?”

“Um, no. Sorry. I really don’t like them. Could you ask the kitchen to take those off? I didn’t know that was on it.”

All of the ingredients and toppings are listed right there on the menu for you. If you pay close attention to what is in the dish beforehand, you’ll save your server a hassle and yourself from disappointment and a longer wait.

• When you ask for the check, try to pay in the next few minutes.

I really don’t mind if you take a while to eat. I don’t expect you to be in and out in a certain amount of time. The only thing that will make me despise your existence is if you 1) come in late, knowing that we close in the next thirty minutes or less AND take your dear sweet time to leave after you eat or 2) ask for the check and have me expecting you to drop your card within the next five minutes only to take another half hour just to put down your card or break out the cash. It doesn’t seem like a huge deal, but coming back again and again to check if you are ready to pay is very tedious and puts us in an uncomfortable position. We don’t want to make you feel like all we care about is running your card or taking your cash and getting you out, but we also have a lot to do and want to take care of your bill before we start moving on to new tables.

• If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to eat.

It may be a little cruel, but if you don’t think you’ll be comfortable with the bill after adding a decent tip, you shouldn’t be eating at that restaurant. Servers virtually make their living off the tips that you leave. Going somewhere with a lower price point will make you feel better about the bill and tip and certainly make that server happier to serve you.

• Kitchen mistakes aren’t our mistakes.

I’ll be the first to admit that I make mistakes. Sometimes I may forget to inform the kitchen of a requested modification or I may take longer than I should to run the drink that you ordered from the bar to your table. I am certainly not suggesting that servers are perfect and I will definitely apologize to you when I do make a mistake. But one thing that servers do not appreciate is being mistreated or shorted for a mistake that was out of our control.

If the food is taking a long time, there is only so much that we as a server can do. If your burger came out underdone, I can certainly take it back to the kitchen and have it fixed, but there was no way for me to know beforehand. If our coworker was confused and accidentally took your order to another table, we can only offer you something in the meantime and get your food to you as soon as possible. A lot of things happen behind the scenes of a restaurant that you may not consider and it may not be your server’s fault.

Bartender: I love bartending. I had to wait what seemed like forever to start bartending so I take my position pretty seriously. I love to have fun during my shift and interact with customers, but the truth is that this is one of the riskier roles to have in a restaurant.

• Consider your limits.

It is certainly the bartender’s responsibility to ensure that customers don’t drink too much, but we base our calculations on the amount of alcohol in a standard drink, customers’ gender, body type, etc., to try to estimate a safe BAC. If you’re a “lightweight”, and you know that it only takes half a drink to have you feeling good, you have to help us out and limit yourself. After all, it is also our responsibility to offer you as many drinks as we see safe.

All I’m saying is, please don’t continue to drink when you know that more may put you in a bad state. We definitely don’t want to see anyone hurt, but we also don’t want to have to cut anyone off or deal with any yelling, rowdy, or rude customers.

• Next time you order your favorite drink, ask what’s in it.

This goes for ordering drinks anywhere, including Starbucks or whichever other establishment you choose to overspend on coffee. Your bartender will gladly serve you any drink they’re able to make for you, but they need to know what’s in it. The best bartenders know every name and nickname for every drink, but those of us who are 21 and haven’t learned all the code names yet might look at you a little funny if you ask us for a Tom Collins or a Rusty Nail.

If your bartender is like me, they’ll pardon their own embarrassment, and ask you to clarify what is in the drink so that they can make it for you. There really is nothing worse than having your embarrassing question met with a sarcastic comment or a simple shrug followed by, “I don’t know.”

Consider learning the ingredients of your favorite drinks. Not only will it help you determine which drinks you may like in the future, it will allow you to try different versions of your favorites at different bars.

• $1 per drink or regular tip percentage.

I’ve heard some servers or bartenders say that they expect at least one dollar as a tip, no matter if they are making one specialty cocktail or filling up a cup of water. Personally, I don’t agree. I think if you stop in for a glass of water, a soda, or even just a bottled beer, I won’t be expecting you to leave a tip so long as it only took a minute or two to help you. But, if you’ve ordered a few beers and racked up a small bill, say around $14, I’ll be a little disappointed to see nothing on the tip line.

I think this is where the $1 default comes in. I will not be upset if you only left me $1 instead of the proper $2.80 on that $14 tab. If you ordered easily, I served you quickly, and we had a pleasant interaction, I’ll be fine with that dollar bill left on the table.

I hope you enjoyed this slightly instructional article. Maybe you will think about a few of these things once you’re sitting at your favorite table or bar seat again. I feel that I speak for a lot of restaurant employees when I say we hope to see you soon!