Day 11

Monday, September 11, 2023

Whole Foods

Walking is great for talking it out and I’ve been working on talking. I’m a very passive person and I always have been. I’ve never enjoyed conflict and for a time, that was a great quality. It kept me out of trouble and made me an observant person, but the benefits only lasted so long. I got to a point where I couldn’t say the things that I needed to say to the people I love and my relationships were suffering because of it. I finally decided that I needed to change and that I would need some help. I found a great therapist and slowly started feeling more comfortable with difficult conversations. I’m far from perfect, but I’m impressed with my progress and I think my therapist was too (I say, “was” because my insurance changed and now I have to find a new one. I’ll spare you a rant about the healthcare system). There are moments when I’m addressing something with someone or standing up for myself and as the words tumble out of my own mouth, I wonder, “Where is this coming from? Who is this person?” I think that’s the beauty of therapy. You figure that nothing can possibly change simply from talking to a person until someday, you surprise yourself.

My point is, I’m very comfortable walking and not always comfortable talking, so talking while walking is a good balance for me.